10 common mistakes that prevent you from feeling cosy at home

No Idea Whatsoever About What Hygge Is?

Don’t worry. I got your back. 😉

If you’re already a Hygge fan, just skip this part and start enjoying today’s blog post.

Still with me?

Ok.. awesome. Time to have fun.

What’s Hygge?

It’s a feeling you can’t buy of safety, warmth, peace, calm, contentment, and everything in between.

Based on cosiness, togetherness, and uniqueness, it’s a whole guide to craft a cosiness-based way of life for you AND your family.

To me, Hygge is like a roadmap to enjoy simple pleasure, slow down, unplug, and eventually becoming unapologetically yourself.

How can I learn more about it?

1/ Read the reviews I made at  How The Hygge Book helps me to love my own quirks

2/ Request a special invitation for #TheHyggeLounge at https://www.thehyggeplanner.com/newsletter

3/ Buy Meik Weiking’s book by clicking here (Where you’re buying from this link Amazon will give a percentage to WWF on your behalf. I’m not owning a penny nor a compensation by any means) 

How do you pronounce it?

Truth is, no one cares how you pronounce it as long as you can experience it day in and day out.

That said, it’s commonly admitted to be [HOO-GA] .

Keep it simple and don’t over complicate the process.

If you don’t get it the first time, no big deal.

Is there a Hygge lifestyle?

YES!! and I mean absolutely without the shadow of a doubt.

Hygge is more than just a list of things to do or have. It’s NOT a decor (see below for more infos).

If you’re quiet/ introvert, chances are you’re already living a Hygge lifestyle without even knowing it. Now, you can model what you’re already good at to enjoy that cosy, comfy, and homey feelings 24/7.

If you’re totally new and you’d love to implement that simple, decluttered, down to earth, eco friendly, and comfy way of living for your family, that’s totally doable.

Truth it, it’s WHY I created this entire site: to provide you the tools, the resources, and the inspiration to turn your life into a cosiness-based living without adding stress. (To get a weekly dose of cosiness-based pep talk, join #TheHyggeLounge HERE )

Where does it come from?

Hygge comes from Denmark (but the word itself comes for Norway). At some point in history, Norway and Denmark were one kingdom only.

For the records:

  the first mention of Hygge is circa 1840 (which means Hygge is everything but a fad trends)

– Denmark is ranking on the top 3 of the happiest countries in the world every singe year!

– the tax level in Denmark is one of the highest in the world. Yet, the citizens ARE full of happiness.

—> Who doesn’t want to model what the happiest people in the world are doing to be happy, content, and joyful day in and day out?  I know I do (so does my Great Grand Mother in her journals)

Is Hygge only a decor for Fall & Winter?

This is a common myth I HAVE to bust once and for all. Danish people don’t stop living 6 months of the year. They enjoy and practice Hygge ALL YEAR LONG.

They just adapt what they do and how they do it. It’s definitely easier to have a snow day in winter and it’s definitely easier to have a BBQ outside in the middle of Summer.

Hygge is not stuck in Fall & Winter nor is a home decor.

If you want a decor, ask a professional to set up a stage… You won’t feel better in a snap because you have a fireplace and tonnes of fairy lights.

If it was that simple, everyone would be happy and medication wouldn’t be needed to avoid anxiety.

(If you’re under medication, NEVER EVER stop without a professional help. Asking for help should be your #1 priority. There’s no shame nor guilt to seek for a better health, or a better mental clarity)

You don’t have to spend $$$ to revamp your living room so it looks like a country living magazine cover… and you can show off on Instagram. Hygge is NOT a popularity contest. There’s no mandatory list of items to buy.

You can live Hygge in a moroccan house, a contemporary penthouse, a cottage close to the sea, a tiny house, a small apartment that looks like a boudoir, or a fancy super modern house. Hygge is what you made out of it.

Eh… you’re done with the introduction.

If you want to dive deeper:

– request your invitation for #TheHyggeLounge HERE

– check our workbook to craft a cosiness-based way of life for your family in 7 days HERE

– download our 108 Done for You ideas to practice Hygge as a family (when you have no time for brainstorm) HERE

Welcome! Today I’m sharing common mistakes you may make when you live in a new place.

 

Cosiness is the quality of being comfortable, pleasant, and warm. Basically, you can experience cosiness everywhere from a garden, a coffee shop, a tropical beach, a museum, a cubicle, &, of course, your beloved home.

 

Just in case you’re wondering… YES, there’s a difference between a house, a home, and a hearth.

Oh, and YES, it’s a pinnable pic to save for later!

A house is the minimal viable place where you eat and sleep. It’s the building with its inner quality like lighting, heating, numbers of rooms, and maybe a garden…

A home is a house with you own twist… your own tone or « flavor ». You’ve had the time to decorate, to revamp, to redo some rooms. It doesn’t mean you’ve spent thousands of dollars/ pounds/ euros/ you name it… It may be some flea market search, some upcycling, a simple home staging.

A hearth is a home with a soul. It’s a haven where you feel safe, secured, & at ease no matter what. It’s like a physical giant comfort zone where you welcome close friends, family, and you tie bonds between the people you love (yep, furry friends are included).

You don’t need to live in a 1000 sq meter place to be free. In fact, I’ve lived in a 18 sq meter flat in Lausanne and I felt like a cocoon. Same went in Montreal, when a friend came in my apartment for the first time telling me « Awww… What a peaceful place to be. I feel so calm. »

 

Why would you need to feel cosy at home first?

– Because it’s the place where you rest and restore
– Because you may work at home and your online success will widely depend on how you feel in your home office
– Because it’s where you can relax in a bubble bath after a long day at work (or in your cubicle)
– Because it’s the moments you share with your friends that will predict your state of mind or your mood
– Because it’s where you can gardening, sun bath, paint, draw, sing, stretch…
– Because it’s where you are free to enjoy your « at home lifestyle » without external judgment, shame, guilt, or fear.

That said knowing why you should feel cosy won’t prevent you from making at least a couple of common mistakes (don’t worry I did them all).

10 common mistakes that prevent you from feeling cosy at home

Right off the bat, it seems awesome but…

Most of you can make at least one of those 10 mistakes that prevent you from feeling cosy.

#1 You overthink/ overcomplicate the overall process of cosiness

 

There’s no magic recipe to feel cosy. In fact, if a magic wand would exist, I would have fought to find it and share it with you.

Cosiness is based on trials and errors. Plus, it’s a very personal journey to outline what is meaningful to you vs what is trendy right now.

Start with simple things and track record on how you feel.

– Does it fit into your schedule?

– Do you feel better?

– Do you enjoy it?

– Is it funny to you?

 

#2 You let so-called friends or in-laws criticizing your home interior

I’m not crazy about vintage (I mean 19th century furniture) but my Mom lovesssss it. So what? It’s her home, her rules, her smile … That’s all that really matters to me.

I’ll never criticize someone’s else interior if it doesn’t fit with my own taste. Maybe, I’ll be curious to know why they’re so attracted to minimalism (i.e.) or to boho style (i.e.) or Mediterranean style (i.e.) or country style (i.e) … You get my drift.

To me, it’s a matter of respect and well-behavior.

You don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea to be awesome, to be unique, to be fantastic, to be bright, to be beautiful.

So, you have two choices:
Being a little mean (like harm no one but take no S…. rule) and be rude with their own interior next time you’ll be invited in their house
– Properly tell them that their opinion is not valuable to you and they should be nice enough to avoid such a mean behavior.

10 common mistakes that prevent you from feeling cosy at home

#3 You don’t have a dedicated space to you (like a reading nook)

As long as you have a 1 square meter somewhere in your home, dedicated to one or more of your passion, you can instantly relieve your stress.

Too easy? Not at all.

Think about creating a cosy nook with a fluffy couch or an armchair.

Hang some handmade decor behind, grab a candle or a book near you and voila. If you want some inspiration, take a look at my Reading Nook board on Pinterest

 

#4 You believe that minimalism is THE ONLY way to feel cosy because you’ve heard it so many times on social media

This one makes me cringe. The way you organise your home should be a personal choice NOT the result of someone who makes you feel guilty for NOT following THE IT TREND of the day.

It’s as stupid as eating pasta when you’re gluten free because all your friends eat pasta. Each time someone forces you to do something, ask yourself « Why does this person act like this? » « What’s his/her interests to do it? »

Use your critical thinking and your freewill to second guess the intention of the so-called gurus. Keep in mind one simple rule « Do it because it makes you feel good and NOT because you have to do it. »

 

#5 You believe that fashion & fad trends are the go-to way to be on the it-list of the next social media buzz word (or hashtag)

If you’re dreaming to be featured in a famous home design magazine, then good for you! Go for it and work hard to make it happen. Your dream is respectful.

But if you’re only trying to follow the trends because you seem to be uncomfortable to step up and say «  This is how I want my home to look like, your approval is not required! ». Then, we need to talk my friend.

With all due respect, you have one life to live and you have one choice.

Being a role model and showing how courageous and talented you are or spending your whole life as a follower because it’s easier, safer,…. (and almost drying inside because you’re losing your joy, your stamina, your motto, your…whatever you call it)

Which one will you choose?

 

#6 You feel odd or weird because you’re quiet/ introvert

I know what it means. Being a part of the 30% of the world population means that out of 10 people, you’re surrounded by 7 extroverts who love/ need to talk to feel comfortable.

Extroverts are incredibly talented to recharge their batteries by enjoying chit-chat, partying until the sunset, babbling until their throat goes dry…

And, you, introverts, you need more Me Time to rest and restore. You feel at ease when you’re on your couch with a good book, a cup of coffee or you’re starting embroidery, cooking strawberry jam…

Each of these human is respectful. No one is better than the other. You just have a different way to manage your energy level and how you communicate with others.

Stop hiding behind the curtains, being quiet is a great asset. Embrace it because it makes you irresistible.

10 common mistakes that prevent you from feeling cosy at home

#7 You apologize for following your own rhythm, way of life, lifestyle

It can be « convenient » at first sight to follow up the go, go, go high speed pace to get more things done and be always ready to pile up more errands, more appointments, more meetings, more volunteering at your local council.

The truth the matter is: you can’t spend energy when you’re depleted. An empty bottle won’t deliver water even if you squeeze it firmly.

Stop being sorry for following the way you’re wired. Stop thinking about what people will tell or do when you’re true to you. Like someone says « haters gonna hate, and potato gonna potate »

 

#8 You manage your time on the go instead of planning it carefully and you blame yourself for rushing every single day.

Most (not all) of the clients I had the pleasure to work with feel way more calm and serene when they got a plan to follow.

They have an overview of what’s coming and they can easily say « YES » or « NO » to new appointments without the guilt of letting that person down.

Let’s be clear, you don’t have to map out every minute of every hour of every day of your week to be organized.

All you need is a roughly plan of the moments you’re busy, the moments you’ve chosen to dedicate to you, and the moments that may be free to new opportunities.

 

#9 You are doubting our own worth (hello self doubt/ low self-esteem)

Unfortunately, you can’t prevent people from being mean or rude. If you’re anything like me, it may have taken a huge toll on you.

Being bullied in High School has led me to believe that I was worthless and useless. To the point that I thought everyone would be happier without me.

Teenagers may be harsh with no reason. Same goes with some adults. But, they both have something in common, it’s rarely about you, it’s often about them.

How they perceive themselves, how jealous they may be, how envious they are, how desperate they feel… and so forth.

Trying to become a better version of yourself is very respectful but you should never try to become someone’s you’re not. Doubt is insidious and it may lead you to being paralyzed or stuck in an unhealthy rut.

 

#10 You believe that grass is greener on the other side of the fluffy blanket

Maybe it could be true at first sight: a bigger house, a larger car, more holidays, more pets… But, when the doors are closed, people may be rude with each other.. they may fight or argue… or worse.

We rarely know the whole story of a family unless you’re a part of it (even in my own family, I’ve recently uncovered funny stories…)

That sounds cheesy but, based on my experience, I’m sure that I am where I’m supposed to be right now.

I’m still looking for more, working hard to reach another step. But, at the same time, I feel terribly lucky to do what I want in my life. I know that things will get better and I have to stay true to my intuition/ cosiness feeling.

You can do it too. Give it a try today!

It’s time to wrap up!

To be honest, I’ve made almost all of these mistakes (at least one… or two… ok, maybe more…). The truth is, feeling cosy takes practice.

Cosiness happens in a snap with a cup of coffee or a good laugh with a friends around a perfectly imperfect meal (aka junk food take away or sushis).

 

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See you on our next Coffee Talk! Until then, keep it hygge!

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